About Domestic Violence

What is domestic violence/abuse?

People often think of domestic violence as physical violence, such as hitting. However, domestic violence takes other forms, such as psychological, emotional, or sexual abuse.

Domestic violence is about one person in a relationship using a pattern of behaviors to control the other person. It can happen to people who are married or not married, living together, separated, or dating.

Domestic violence statistics

Nearly one-third (one out of three) of American women report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives. - Commonwealth Fund survey, 1998

How do you know if you are being abused?

If your partner repeatedly uses one or more of the following to control you - you are being abused!!

• Pushing, hitting, slapping, choking, kicking, or biting
• Threatening you, your children, other family members, or pets
• Using or threatening to use a weapon against you
• Keeping or taking your paycheck
• Puts you down or makes you feel bad
• Forcing you to have sex or to do sexual acts you do not want or like
• Keeping you from seeing your friends, family, or from going to work

Warning signs of domestic violence

There is no way to tell for sure if someone is experiencing domestic violence. Those who are battered and those who abuse, come in all personality types. Battered women are not always passive with low self-esteem, and batterers are not always violent or hateful to their partner in front of others. Most people experiencing relationship violence do not tell others what goes on at home. So how do you tell? Here are some signs to look for:

• Injuries and excuses for them
• Absences from work or school
• Low self-esteem, feel they can't make it on their own without their partner
• Accusations of having affairs: a common tactic used by the abuser to attempt to isolate their partners and as an excuse for a beating
• Personality changes
• Fear of conflict
• Not knowing what one wants or how one feels
• Blaming others for everthing: abusers usually blame others for everything that goes wrong
• Self-blame

Information courtesy of Domestic Violence Handbook and Michigan State University.

Getting Help

If you need immediate assistance, dial 911

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

Contact your local Women's Shelter